Topsy Turvy

It's 2:00 AM and I have to be bright eyed and bushy tailed at church in 5 hours, but I can't sleep.

 

In the last 3 weeks, my life has flipped upside down and I feel like I have to try standing on my head to make sense of any of it.

 

3 weeks ago:

 

• The White King was a relatively healthy guy considering his medical history. Which is to say he was fine. I had no reason to believe he was not fine, but I also wouldn't have been terribly surprised if he had a heart attack and died at any minute.

• Both The White King and I had jobs. Not great jobs, but jobs that we were capable of doing and that were secure.

• I was looking into going back to school as soon as a certain someone provided me with a certain paper that I need.

• We were planning out our payments on our debt so that we could possibly move far, far away from my family in the near future.

 

Now:

 

• I'm not even sure about The White King's health. He says he feels fine, he's just tired, but then he walks around like a zombie, and acts like an asshole zombie.

• The White King will be quitting his job on Monday. He will not be released to return to work for at least a year. We applied for disability on Friday.

• I'm looking for a second job. And I know from experience living with my husband and mother that they will not step up. So I will be working 80 hours a week, taking care of my children, husband and house.

• Forget school. There aren't enough hours in the day.

• I'm lying awake staring at the ceiling sleeping on the couch. The White King is vomiting every few hours and I don't do vomit.

I would say that I'm losing my mind, but we all know that I lost that a long time ago.

This is not promising to be a perky blog-scene for the next few months.